I made a bet with someone last night that I could go 24 hours without apologising, it has been tough but i'm almost there! Apparently I apologise too much, for things that don't necessarily require an apology, is this a bad thing I ask?
There is a character on the tv programme NCIS who repeatedly says the phrase, 'Never Apologise; it is a sign of weakness', is this really the case though? or could it in fact be a sign of strength? We teach children to apologise when they've done something wrong, that it means they'll never do it again, but is it really that simple? Is that the reason some people think it is a sign of weakness? Because they have childhood flashbacks of getting into trouble? Lets face it, nobody liked getting told off when they were wee, but still!
'I'm sorry' how can those two little words have such impact? A simple apology can mean so many different things, and can be said to explain so many emotions! A study by the University of Michigan revealed apologising can also have health benefits such as lowering stress levels whereas avoiding an apology can lead to built up anger, frustration and annoyance which can have effects of everyday encounters and relationships.
According to Canadian Psychologists, people apologise on average 4 times a week, and we're more likely to apologise to complete strangers (22%) than to romantic partners (11%) or family members (7%), and we apologise most to friends (46%). Conventional opinion is that women apologise too much and men don't apologise enough but that can't be proven either way. Without explaining all the research that i read through for this post, I'll summarise. Basically the studies by the University of Waterloo in Ontario discovered that in fact men just have different opinions on what is offensive and thus requires an apology, and women are more likely to be offended if an apology is not given when they think it deserved.
I can see how over-apologising can be a problem: it can sound insincere and the recipient isn't sure if it is a real apology or not. It can be annoying to hear the same thing over and over and over again and it makes the apology less effective. I understand this but on the other hand, I think I'd rather offer an apology when it wasn't needed, than not apologise when it is required. There is a middle ground, I hear you say, I know this, I just don't think my brain works that way! 'I'm sorry' is something you say to admit you're wrong about something, and I am certainly not right all the time, so again I ask, what's the problem? 
5 hours left of this bet, avoiding as many unnecessary conversations is helping to limit my apologies to nill, but we'll see how I get on! Come 12 o'clock I'll have some serious apologising to catch up on!
Update: I lost the bet. I lasted 23 hours and 25 minutes, before a subconscious, nonchalant, frankly not overly important 'apology' slipped out. It was a 'sorry I didn't text back, my phone was upstairs', such a waste, not even a momentous apology to fail the bet with! Clearly I have an apology addiction...
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